fajer
Laws that forbid advertising campaigns for tobacco and alcohol are good.First,tobacco and alcohol are harmful for human body.Also,tobacco and alcohol have negative effect to teenagers who might try them in early age.Finally,many crimes are committed by those who takes tobacco and alcohol.In conclude,these laws are effective because tobacco and alcohol are dangerous for the society.
Thanks, Fajer for posting your 3rd Draft :) I like your topic sentence; it's much better now. However, I can still see a few mistakes! Here are the mistakes and their corrected versions:
ReplyDelete- human body = the human body.
- have negative effect = have negative effects.
- to teenagers = on teenagers.
- committed by those who takes = committed by those who take.
- In conclude = To conclude.
This is it, Fajer..Hope this is helpful :)