Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It's very affective that some countries have laws that forbid advertising campains for tobacco and alcohol . they are bad for your health because they can cause dangeraus diseases . Also , they are harmfal because they can cause air pollution and crimes in society . Finally , if teenagers watch these products , they will be encoureged to try . As you see , it's important that some countries forbid ad about tobacco and alcohol because they are bad .
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1 comment:

  1. Buthaina AlothmanOctober 20, 2010 at 2:47 PM

    Thanks, Mariam for posting your 3rd draft. Good job :)

    The following are corrections of some mistakes which I noticed in your paragraph:

    It's very affective = It is very effective.
    advertising campains = advertising campaigns
    they are = They are
    they can cause dangeraus diseases = they can cause dangerous diseases.
    they are harmfal = they are harmful
    they will be encoureged to try = they will be encouraged to try them
    As you see = As you can see
    forbid ad about tobacco and alcohol= forbid ads for tobacco and alcohol
    because they are bad = because they are harmful for the health and society

    Thanks!

    P.S. Mariam, try to edit your paragraph to correct the mistakes that are listed above with their corrected versions.

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